Death to Kagome!
by Silver Amaryllis
Summary: The many ways Kagome could (and should!) DIE! Some are angsty, others ironic, and still others just plain funny! Enjoy!
1. Alleyway

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[Author's Note] Well, here it is folks! The one and only, _Death to Kagome!_ fic! What do you say? Let's get started on torturing and killing the annoying schoolgirl in a series of one-shots! First up, a little scene from a random visit back home...

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[Disclaimer] _Inuyasha: A Feudal Fairytale_ belong to Takahashi-sama, Viz, and all those other wonderful companies. (Lucky bastards...)

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Kagome sighed girlishly as she walked down the crowded streets of Tokyo. She'd been back home for five days, and she knew she'd have to return to the never-ending quest for the Shikon-no-kakera early the next day. Oh well... 

Deciding to think about that later, the scantily clad schoolgirl turned the corner onto a less busy sidewalk. It, in fact, was deserted, an odd happening for that particular time of day. Shrugging it off, she continued walking. She was, after all, accustomed to stranger things. However, as she was passing an alleyway, a strange mewing caught her ear. Curious, she decided to investigate, rounding into the murky alley. 

"Ooooh~! How _kawaii~_!" she squealed after turning over a few boxes, having found a young gray kitten. "Hello kitty!" she giggled, kneeling down to shower fondness on the helpless creature.

Big mistake.

A moment later, a hand clamped over her mouth, and her eyes went wide. Blindly, she struggled, to no avail. 

"Shouldn't a pretty girl like you be afraid of dark places?" came a gruff whisper as another arm slid around her waist and clamped onto her arm, steering her towards a parked van she hadn't noticed at the back of the alley. Before she knew it, she had been shoved into the back, and her hands were bound and her mouth gagged by a masked man. She could do nothing as her clothes were stripped from her body.

What happened next was nothing but hours of endless pain followed by timeless nothingness, and then pain again. She drifted in and out of consciousness, but always above her were those leering masked faces. Finally, it stopped. It was silent for what seemed to be a long time. Then, rough hands grabbed Kagome, still nude. They threw her into the alley. 

A groan escaped her as she hit the ground, curling into a fetal position. She was all but deaf to the sound of an engine revving, but she caught sight of the headlights all too easily in the growing dark.

"Oh God," she whispered as they rushed towards her. "_INUYASHA!_" she screamed, ever the damsel in distress, moments before the van crushed her with a satisfying crack.

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[Author's Note] That was rather satisfying, wasn't it? In a nice, sadistic way... I decided to start off with something rather angsty, just for the hell of it. ^_^ I'll try and have more humor with the next one. Ja ne!


	2. Bungee Jumping

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[Author's Note] Well, as I have a friend over, I'm going to use a different format for this chapter. ^-^ Enjoy!

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[Disclaimer] I wish I may, I wish I might, That my dreams of owning Inu will come true tonight...

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What You'll Need: A bridge over a pit of spikes, A bowl of oden, A long elastic cord, Scissors, One extremely stupid, annoying Japanese schoolgirl (otherwise known as Kagome Higurashi of _Inuyasha_- Duh...)

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Steps: What to do in order to bring ultimate death upon the E.S.A.J.S. (See above and figure it out.)

1- Take Kagome to the bridge, telling her that it's for observations for a science test- her obsessive need to attend all tests will not allow her to say no.

2- Take her over to the side of the bridge, where you've tied the elastic cord.

3- Tell her that if she tries bungee-jumping, you'll give her the bowl of oden- her worse-than-obsessive need to devour oden will wipe all doubts from what brains she may have.

4- Tie the elastic cord around her waist and help her up onto railing. Be as nice as possible as you shove her off.

5- While she's bouncing in midair, somehow _not_ flashing all observers with that hideously short skirt of hers because of the unreasonable rules of anime that define her character, calmly cut the cord with your scissors.

6- Enjoy the screams of pain and terror as she impales herself on the blunt spikes far below.

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Hints For More Enjoyment: Hire a cameraman so that he can film the entire thing. That way, you can stay up into the wee hours of the morning enjoying Kagome's painful death. 

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[Author's Notes] Kudos to my best friend Brittany for the idea! *glomps her* Thanks to most of you for the incredibly positive reviews! *hands out pocky* 

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Zero27- Well, I don't mind the crazies! I hate Kagome, and I'm free to yell it to the world if I want! 

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SaRaToNi- Ooooh! Munchkins! *glomps them*

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Wakadori Ramen- I'll be sure to do that next chapter. I'm going to alternate between story format and this format that I used this chapter. *points upwards*

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Mysterious-Kitsune- ... 

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kitty_cat13- Proud to be of service! ^.~

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Khepri- You know- that's a very good question. oO; Why DON'T her underwear show when she's flying through the air, etc? Same question applies for most schoolgirl animes, if you think about it... XD

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Queen of All Chipmunks- Thank you! 

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Dreamteazer- Yes, actually, I do call myself a fan. Except when it comes to Kagome... And what you call weak is what other's call amusing!


	3. Demonic

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[Author's Note] Ah… A long delay, I know. ^_^ But… That's life sometimes. Enjoy!

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[Disclaimer] If I owned Inuyasha… This is how it would end. But, I doubt it will *le sigh*

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Reason couldn't reach him. He was too far gone.

A malicious smile crept over his face as blood rained down, drenching everything.

They had thought it was over- but, oh no. It was far from over.

...Or was it?

His gaze, so akin to the color of his all but destroyed garb, flickered towards her. His lips curved, an enlarged fang making itself known as they did so. He turned to face her fully, and she knew.

Feeling her breath catch in her throat, Kagome took a hurried step backwards, tripping as she did so. She fell with a cry, but continued to scramble backwards, avoiding the fragments of the splintered sword that had thrown her balance.

...The splintered sword that was supposed to prevent this.

"I- Inuyasha..." she whispered haltingly, stumbling to her feet as he advanced on her. "Please! Remember me!" All he did was laugh mockingly, swiping at her with already bloodied claws. They slashed across her face, leaving deep gouges in her cheek and an empty socket of pooling blood where her left eye had once been. She shrieked, falling again as her hand hovered over her face in disbelief.

His actions spoke where he would not. It was if he had said in that very moment, 'Why would I want to remember a filthy human such as you?' Tears mixed with blood, and with another slash, Kagome's head rolled away from her body. A final, gurgling exhalation emitted from the severed windpipe of her body as it slumped onto the darkened earth. 

The transformed Inuyasha smirked, pleased with the destruction around him. He raised a blood-soaked hand to his lips, relishing in the tangy taste of the crimson liquid. As he lowered his hand, a sharp calling of his name broke him from his morbid reverie.

As he did so, the second miko, feeling her soul being seeped away, released her crackling arrow towards him.

Both fell to their final deaths a moment later.

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[Author's Note] Hmm… I rather like this one. And that is _so_ something Kikyou would do in her final moments if the situation called for it. Anyway, review responses!

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STACY- I don't need to die. I'm already dying. As are you. ^_^ And no, Kagome doesn't rock. Kikyou does.

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Mr. P Coat- Why? Because Kikyou acts more human than Kagome? Because she has a good reason for everything she does? Because Kagome is a submissive, degrading, stereotype-girl that everything thinks every girl should be? Thanks for non-effective insults, but its Kagome who needs to die.

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INUSKOI- Well, I luff you for reviewing, and I'll go where I please. ^_^ Hell is pretty low on my list though, so you may have to wait an eternity or more to see me there, of all places.

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Kurama'sBotan- Well… If there was no Kagome… Then we could all focus on Miroku and Sango! ^_^ That'd actually be rather fun to watch. Those two NEED their own series, dammit!

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The Turmoil Twins- -_-; Aren't you the little nit-picker? As for your PS… By looking at your bio, you seem pretty Anti-Kikyou. Are you saying you've never bashed her anywhere? In conversations, implications, and writings? To tell the truth, I find you rather hypocritical, so why don't you wander off into that little fantasy world you made up yourself?

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Fuku- Well, I usually wouldn't write this fic… But I'm sick of seeing only Kikyou-bashing fanfiction. So, I wrote this. ^.^ And its actually rather fun…

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Wakadori Ramen- What can I say? A little parody is always fun!


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